12 years old Turkish girl//
Sw: 58 kg/127 lbs
Hw: 59 kg
cw: 57 kg
gw: 45 kg/99 lbs
ugw: 40 kg/88 lbs
* Can’t stop touching my body/can’t stop pinching my fat
* Sucking in your stomach when you’re around people so they don’t see your fat
* Lying too much bc of food
* Body checking in every mirror that you pass
* Also ignoring your body in the mirror so you don’t cry
* Spending all day looking at thinspo instead of fulfilling your responsibilities
* Distancing yourself from everybody
* Having unrealistic expectations and goals for yourself
I feel attacked
* Rubbing your collarbones, ribs, hip bones
* Checking for any difference in your thigh gap
* Trying not to gag while drinking green tea
* Exercising whenever you have a moment of privacy
* Watching Netflix/napping to avoid eating
* Running to the bathroom was lax kicks in
* Curled up in bed crying because of hunger pains
* Doing that thing with your hand around your wrist/arm to see if you can touch fingers together yet
* Waiting until everyone falls asleep to do silent workouts in peace w/out getting caught
*Running to the school bathroom to purge when you’re forced to eat during a fast
* Punishing yourself for having the basic human need of the nutrients that come in food
* C O U N T I N G C A L O R I E S
* Bad sleep habits
* Constantly measuring/weighing yourself
*Sucking in your stomach while trying on clothes to see how much better you’d look in them if you were skinny
* Doing that thing with your hands around your thigh to see how far up you can get your fingers to touch
* Passing out from over-exercising
* Hiding in the school bathroom to keep from being forced to eat
* Over-estimating your calories
* Always thinking about the next time you can measure/weigh yourself
* Being extremely dizzy when you stand up but have to walk it off and act normal so no one suspects anything
* Trying to hide your Tumblr account
* Drinking too much water or not enough
* Always feeling dehydrated for some reason
* Not being able to poop
* Weird stomach noises at the worst times
* Headaches
* Shaking
* Cold. All. The. Time
* Forcing yourself to take the stairs every time you’re given the opportunity, no matter how little you’ve eaten
* Isolating yourself in your room all day
* Going to the grocery store, looking through every aisle, gazing at all the food only to leave with nothing
* Developing not only a fear but an utter disgust for certain foods (etc. meat or even all animal products)
* Leaving class every hour to pee and fill your water bottle up
* Hate seeing/feeling your stomach touch your thighs when you sit down to pee
* Basing your own worth and others’ based off their weight/size
* Can’t go to the bathroom without lifting up shirt to check stomach and ribs in the mirror
* Chewing gum to simply stay focused
* Sleep schedule run amok because you’re so demotivated to anything but the bare minimum these days due to your malnutrition, plus sleeping is a good loophole to avoid eating
* Having no friends because you don’t want to go out with them for food
* Spending copious amounts of money on food only to binge on it and feel even worse, plus now you’re broke
* Taking a body check every day even though there’s no difference
* Purposely weighing yourself at inopportune times to trigger yourself just bc you’re “curious”
* Knowing the measurements of every part of your body, even your toes
* Losing your personality to your eating disorder
honestly didn’t even realize that i did 90% of these things because of my ed… huh
I feel exposed
attacked
Wow might as well @ me next time 😅😬
・no more chubby face
・ no more double chin
・to have a nice jawline
・tiny waist
・flat stomach
・skinny arms
・skinny legs
・no back fat
・bubble butt
・collarbones
・hip bones
・thigh gap
・to finally love myself
Anorexia: hey let’s eat healthy and work out you know what let’s go for a run right now it’ll be amazing and we’ll burn a lot of calories and-
Depression: yeahhhhh what about we just lay in bed and do nothing instead
Anorexia: but-t…
Anxiety: what about we think about all the bad things that has happened to us and contemplate whether or not people actually hate us
Anorexia & depression: …
Me: hey what about we take a nap instead? It burns calories, we get to sleep, and we don’t have to think about how much we hate ourselves
Anorexia: yeah okay that could work
Depression: sounds like a plan
Anxiety: I’m down
….
Insomnia: lmao bitch u thought
Me: Anorexia is a disease.
Fat Acceptance Advocate: Amen!
Me: Anorexia is not attractive.
FAA: Fuck, no, it’s not!
Me: Not eating enough is not healthy.
FAA: Completely true!
FAA: Get those women some cheeseburgers!
Me: It is completely possible to recover from anorexia and get to a healthy weight, and maintain it!
FAA: Yaaaassss, help those skinny bitches!
Me: Obesity is a disease.
FAA: The fuck did you just say?
Me: Obesity is not attractive.
FAA: Wow, that’s fucking cruel.
Me: Over-eating is unhealthy.
FAA: You don’t know shit about my metabolism.
FAA: Weight and food aren’t connected!
Me: It is completely possible to lose weight and get to a healthy weight and maintain it!
FAA: ALL DIETS FAIL.
FAA: YOUR WEIGHT LITERALLY CANNOT CHANGE.
FAA: YOU ARE A FATPHOBIC BITCH.
FAA: FUCKING DELETE YOUR BLOG.
I’ll never not reblog this. Being overweight is just as unhealthy as being underweight but both sides of the scale deserve to be loved, helped and respected. Thank you.
Someone: anorexia will kill you
Me: and who says that’s not my ultimate goal?
me: i’m not really anorexic honestly i feel like i’m just faking it
also me: *spends the whole day thinking about calories and food*
*freaks out because of 100 calories*
*is constantly fasting and binging*
*feels like purging when eating any kind of meal*
*feels like crying anytime a thin girl passes by*
*gets jealous of friends who get sick and end up losing weight*
me: totally faking it
